Schadenfreude: this German term refers to the wicked joy that we can sometimes feel at seeing other people, or at least some people, in difficulty.
The opposite of this Schadenfreude, this wicked joy, is of course empathy or compassion, it is the feeling of sadness when we see others in pain.
twin emotion of Schadenfreude is Anheteroeudemony, the inability to rejoice in the happiness of others. Well, Anheteroeudemony is a word that doesn't exist, not yet anyway: I created it from scratch, from three Greek roots: A ( privative), hetero (the other), eudaimonia (happiness). And there you have it, a new emotion to add to the sad catalog of sad passions!
The opposite of anheteroeudemony is altruistic happiness: the pleasure one feels in seeing others happy, in seeing their joys, in seeing their successes. It is an emotion that one learns to cultivate, for example, through Buddhist meditations or positive psychology exercises.
And it's not just a matter of good feelings! Rejoicing in the happiness of others is a capacity that makes our lives better. For example, we have studies showing that in a couple, one of the predictors of longevity and strength is the fact that each partner is not jealous of the other's successes, but on the contrary, genuinely rejoices in them and expresses it.
But let's return to Anheteroeudemony: why is it difficult to rejoice in the happiness of others? Why this constipation of altruistic happiness?
This can be a one-off, occasional phenomenon: when you lose a competition, whether sporting or professional, even if you don't wish any harm on those who won, it's hard to be happy for them. That's perfectly normal, and after a while, it passes.
But in some people, it can also be a lasting, established, chronic character trait…
Anheteroeudemony can stem from envy, the desire to possess what others have and we lack, happiness for example. It can also arise from pettiness, meanness, and difficulty in loving other human beings.
And in this case, one of the solutions, one of the exercises that can save us, if we are afflicted with this malady, is admiration, exercises in admiration. Every day, cultivate the good habit of rejoicing in what is beautiful and good around us. We can start with the easiest things: admiring the sunrise and sunset , the flight of birds, the grace of wildflowers… all of this will gradually dissolve our tendencies toward anethereoudemony.
And once that's under control, we move on to something more difficult: admiring our fellow human beings! That is, recognizing their superiority over us in a number of areas, and rejoicing in it. Telling ourselves that if we wish to be like them, then observing them, admiring them, and drawing inspiration from them will be more useful than experiencing anethereoudemony.
To do this, we start by forgetting ourselves: we put the handbrake on our ego and its tendency to always compare ourselves.
Then a little logic: we ask ourselves how the happiness of others takes anything away from our own happiness.
Finally, we smile, we breathe deeply, and we say to ourselves: good for her, good for him, may he have the best.
Does it seem too easy? Be wary of yourself and your convictions!
This story, like all positive psychology exercises, and like life in general: the important thing for change is not what you think, but what you do.
Give it a try, you'll see, it works very well!
Illustration: I always feel anheteroeudemony (for the opposing team) when Stade Toulousain loses a match…
PS: This article is based on my column ( listen HERE ) from April 29, 2025 on the France Inter program, Grand Bien Vous Fasse .